Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dave Douglasless

We just figured out that yesterday was the 7th year anniversary (to the day) of Dave's first show with us. Yesterday was also Dave's last show. We had a really good time playing together one last time. I think all of us were pretty emotional, but we were able to stay fairly composed. We were in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee for the last few days, and with band, crew, management, and wives, there was 18 of us playing Guitar Hero (which I hate), pool, Blongo, and hanging out in a gorgeous mountainside cabin together. It was a really great way to say goodbye to a really great friend.

Today is actually the ten year anniversary of Relient K's first show ever. I never thought we'd last a decade, but I couldn't be happier. Here's to another ten.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Football In The Neighborhood Of Make-Believe

Well... It'd be a little weird if I didn't talk about the fact that I am one of two out of twelve people still fighting for the main prize in my fantasy football league. I go up against Mark Stuart this week. If I win, I WIN. If not, I still did better than ten other guys, and they'll still be mad at me. Thats a good thing. This was my first year doing fantasy, and I was pretty apprehensive. There's a lot of luck to it, but I did spend about $35 on fantasy football magazines before the season began. I hope I see a bit of a return on that investment.

The Browns are doing pretty nicely in hard-hitting, reality football. I thought this was going to be a rough year for us Browns fans.

Shows what I know. Fantasy or not, I reside in

Let's Make-Believeland a reality. Go Browns

Monday, December 17, 2007

Fievel Goes Blog

The last two weeks have been super busy, but pretty great. Being preoccupied before Christmas is an amazing thing. The holiday sneaks up on me, and I'm always grateful when its here. I watched American Tail last night. Hence the Fievel themed comic blog.

Click here if you can't see the whole thing

Fievel Goes Blog
Matty T.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

The Browns, Giving Thanks, The Sounds, & Funny Pranks

The reason for the drought is pretty simple.

I didn't really blog.

The Browns [Part I]
Some friends, April and Kelly, bought me a Browns jersey. They gave it to me a while back, and I've been wearing it every Sunday afternoon since. They put Clay Matthews' retired number 57 on it. They weren't aware of the legendary linebacker's accolades as a part of the Cleveland Browns franchise. They were just making a Five Sore... reference. They also put my last name on the back. Clay Matthews Thiessen. Very close. If I had a clone or a brother named Matthew, it'd be perfect. Love it. Thanks ladies.

The Browns played the at the Baltimore Ravens on November 18th. The Bands played at the Baltimore City on November 18th. For a while I had known I was going to be spending this brisk November Sunday merely blocks down the street from where Derek, Braylon, The Amazing Joe Thomas, Jamal, Mr. Jurevicius, and K. Winslow were clocking in. I had planned on watching them work in person, but I had fallen ill about five days prior. I wasn't quite up to sitting in cold weather and wearing some fan's spilled Bud Light. If you follow the NFL, you may remember that the Browns won the game with a crazy, last-second, tying field goal in regulation, and a victorious three point boot in overtime. Despite being on sleepytime meds and my 23rd cup of tea, there was much "jouissance" in reaction to this freakish act of ricochet.
I felt better.

I felt like I had enough voice to have a good show.

The Browns cured me. Football is awesome.

With this new found exuberance for life, I thought it fitting that I'd celebrate. I'll admit that I was a bit nervous waiting to walk up the steps to the stage where I would play my final song of the night, cloaked in my new Browns jersey. I boarded and struck my pre-meditated Heisman pose. The boos rained down like a bittersweet symphony. I walked to the microphone, confessed that I was celebrating a victory that was really big for the Browns, and then removed my jersey (under which I was wearing the traditional snap down collared shirt). While I did this, I said something to the extent of how I had had my fun, and I wasn't going to distract from the music with football tomfoolery any more. Then I spotted someone in the front row with a Todd Heap Raven's jersey. It appeared that as an act of good nature, I should wear the Raven's jersey while I sing the song. The thought was something shy of blasphemy. I kind of regret going through with the idea, but I did have thousands of people looking at me with laser eyes. I got chicken.

The next day began my Thanksgiving Week.

Giving Thanks
I was thankful to be off the road for a few days. I love touring (this tour especially), but its always nice to not live in close quarters with eleven other dudes for a few days.

The first thing on the menu was a little trim. I walked in the door, looked in the mirror, walked upstairs, and shaved my lip.

I got to say the prayer before we ate on Thanksgiving. I've never done that before. It made me smile... and kinda nervous.

I had a really busy time around the holiday. I spent most of it with my girlfriend, Shannon, and we visited three towns (full of friends and family) in three days. We spent more hours awake then we wanted to, and we did a fair bit of driving. It was all worth it, however, cause we got to see some wonderful people and have a blast hanging out with each other.

The Browns [Part II]
I came home to Ohio, and within two and a half hours there was a knock on my door. My buddy Joe was the first of some friends to arrive. We picked up some Crossroads Pizza (by far the most amazing thing to come out of Bolivar, OH), and he casually asked me if I'd like to go to the Browns game on Sunday. Thoughts of sitting in cold weather wearing some fan's spilled Bud Light were followed by an enthusiastic "yes". We made plans to head up to Cleveland Sunday morning. I was elated because I had not yet seen the Browns play (cause I missed out the week before), and I had never been to the Brown's stadium. All of this was unbeknownst to Joe, but I'm glad he asked me to go.

On Sunday morning I threw on six or seven layers of clothing (the topmost layer was browns and orange). Despite some congestion at the gate and a decent line for the bratwursts, we got to our seats with about eight minutes left in the first quarter. The game was awesome. The Brownies won, and I got to chat with the guy next to me about the offensive coordinator. I'm a nerd.

The worst part of the week was definitely finding out about Casey Calvert's passing. Casey was the guitarist for Hawthorne Heights, and we shared a ton of great times together on the Nintendo Fusion Tour. He was a great guy and a great hang. He was always laughing and making me feel good about myself. My condolences to his friends, family, band. I assume that losing a band mate is something akin to losing a brother. I can't imagine how torn up they have to be.

The Sounds
We had some really fun shows in IL, OH, PA, and NY, but because of my cough, they weren't quite what they could've been. I worked hard at recuperating. Lots of sleep, meds, and tea.

Because I hadn't played a show healthy in a while, I was really excited to fly out to the west coast to start this last week of tour.
The shows have been some of the best of the tour, and we're all having a really great time spending these last few days together. Dave is only going to be playing with us for a couple more shows, so its great that we're loving every minute of them.

A big thank you goes out to all the friends that have come out to these shows and showered Dave and the band with support. We got a rad scrap book and a cool youtube video from some fans. We looked at both things together as a band, and we had some good times reminiscing about some golden olden days.

We're going to try work some tour olympics into these last few dates. Events may consist of Bocce Ball, Darts, Sharp Shooting, Scrabble, karaoke, etc.

Funny Pranks
Its getting to the part of a tour where bands and crew traditionally start pranking each other. We've pranked some people quite nicely in the past, but Relient K policy has morphed into opting for the treat rather than the trick. I'd rather do something funny to a band than something malicious.
I suppose karma was paying us back last night, when Switchfoot's lighting engineer, Taylor, decided to "prank" us. During our rendition of Sleigh Ride, Taylor repelled from the 40ft tall catwalk to the stage while dressed in the customary Santa Claus outfit. He threw out candy canes (you can see em in the photo) as he descended, and he brought joy to the faces of the children. It was honestly the coolest thing that's ever happened to us on stage.

Till next time.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Busy Week

I meant to post yesterday or today, but fortunately I've been able to have enough fun things to do, that I haven't been able to spare any extra time on the world wide web of lies.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Ohio Statement

What the heck Buckeyes!? I promised all of my friends from Illinois that we were going to crush every ounce of dignity found in the hearts of the Champaign, Illinois fighting Illini (great team name by the way). Again, I was reminded that I don't know the first thing about the phrase "shoe-in". Ironically, whenever I claim something to be that, I end up with my foot in my mouth. My Chucks are too dirty to keep doing that.

I also bought a few records this week. I buy a lot of music on iTunes, but sometimes I feel tenacious enough to get off of my butt and actually go to a store to buy a physical copy of an album I want. On Tuesday night (the night before I had a 5 hour drive), I decided that I wanted to go get the new Say Anything. I love their "Is A Real Boy" record, and I had been looking forward to picking up the new one for a long time. I was so excited about getting it, that I went to a store (shall remain nameless) at 11am in my Uggs and sweat pants. If you know me, you know that I don't normally venture into public donning my PJs. So, I find the new Angels and Airwaves (which I wanted) right off the bat, but couldn't find the Say Anything record. They didn't have it. Then I looked for our Christmas disc. No dice (or any copies of "Let It Snow Baby...").Then I looked at the price on the A&A... $14.95! Why would I pay that, when I can get it on iTunes for $9.99!? So, I put it down, drove home, and bought some music from Charlotte's World Wide Web.

The last few shows have been a pleasant improvement from the last bunch. I like it when they don't cover the entire surface of the floor with chairs. I should be the chairman of the No Chairs Board. Someone should take a stand.

Caterpillar kisses,
Matty T.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The S--th

Oh you.

And we're off.

The morning of October 29th was spent unprofessionally fastening siding to a Habitat For Humanity home in Baton Rouge, LA. It was fun. Maybe even more fun than the evening's musical performance (I was pretty wiped out by then).

Halloween night, I polished off the Silence Of The Lambs series. Hanibal Rising was the only one I hadn't seen, and it was pretty fantastic. It was cool watching them in order like that. Its almost like reading a book.
I dressed up like Tom Selleck dressed up as Matthew Thiessen from Relient K. Hoopes encouraged me to inform the next day's Columbia, SC crowd of said costume. After the show, Scarlett O'hara said to me, "I do declare, Mr. Thiessen, that went a bit over their heads!"
I love the s--th.
Scarlett was right though. The majesty of my costume was not nearly as embraced as it should have been by such a large, attentive group of people. The idea that Tom Selleck would even be savvy to the existence of our band is pretty funny. But if this past Halloween, the extent of his passion for our music led him to suit up in a homage drenched Matthew Thiessen costume!?...
Well, that'd be pretty funny as well.

For me to dress up as all of that, makes it a double costume. Its neat what you can do with a mustache and your own clothes.

Instead of Trick or Treating, John Warne bought three candy bars, said I could have one, and let me pick first. It was one Reese's new concoctions. You see, Reese just keeps his candy lovin' nose to the grindstone. He won't stop until he gets the perfect combination of carmel, milk chocolate, white chocolate, crunchy peanut butter, smooth peanut butter, wafers, nougat, roasted peanuts, etc. And even after he figures out the perfect blend, he has to decide on the shape. Will he choose cups, sticks, or pieces? We can only speculate. Once Reese nails it, we'll know. The whole world will know.
The one I had was pretty good. I just can't remember what kind it was. While we were indulging ourselves with the sugar at hand, John and I debated the last time we had a candy bar. The conclusion was more than a few months. When I was a kid, I told myself I would watch a million hours of cartoons and buy closets full of candy when I was an adult. I suppose I'm a failure.

Alright... Just because the Reese thing is such a rip off...

My mustache is dry clean only... Which means...

It's dirty.

Maybe I should have dressed up like a gangrene ridden comedian for Halloween. Rest in Reese's Pieces, Mitch.

Fantasy football was a nightmarish type of fantasy. The kind where the unicorn turns around and Whinny The Pooh is dangling bloody and lifeless from his horn. Broken shards of honey pot sticking out of his eyes.

Apparently I need to refrain from using the term "shoe in". Cause I shoe didn't win.

I've haven't been feeling well the last four days or so.
Boo freakin hoo.
Me, that's hoo.

Matty T.


Saturday, October 27, 2007

Hallowoes vs. Blood and Guts

So I'm a little bummed. Halloween is quickly sneaking up on us (hopefully to scare the crap out of us), and don't feel that I can successfully participate in the holiday (at least not in the fervent manner for which my soul longs).

We don't have a show on Halloween, but we have to be on the road. I won't be able to walk around Town in some fantastic costume enhanced to the max by a REAL mustache.
"Hey... did you hear that guy dressed as (Burt Reynolds Edgar Allen Poe Teddy Roosevelt) actually grew a legit, attached to the face mustache!? He had to have committed to his costume weeks ago! Who would want to be (Burt Reynolds Edgar Allen Poe Teddy Roosevelt) so much that they would walk around Town with a mustache weeks before Halloween!? What a chowderhead."

In addition to the travel schedule, I won't really have the time or resources to prepare one of the (3) Halloween costumes I had in mind... especially not to the level of completion that's been floating around in that same mind.

In addition to that, my girlfriend has been making me jealous. Last night, she got to go to a birthday/Halloween party dressed as a really good lookin' Dorothy (Garland). Its the third year in a row that I've had to see her Halloween costume via the magic of camera phones. Those pictures are the same quality as magic poo. ... Anywhooo... My girl and I also went to an apple orchard/ pumpkin patch right before the tour started (she's sitting on those pumpkins in her myspace photo). We picked her out a really little pumpkin and me a tall, kinda skinny one to carve. At this point in the story, I suffer the same Hallowed fate as my good friend John Warne. Both John and I purchased an elegant , orange, orb of carve-able wonder and FORGOT to carve it before going on tour!
I think we're both still a bit sheepish about it.

All is not lost, however. I intentionally Netflixed all four of the Silence Of The Lambs series. I will begin watching them tonight after the Ohio State game. I can't decide if I should watch them in the chronological order of the plot, or in the order that they were released. I'm pretty sure I'll go with the release order. Either way, I'll have a Haniball. Haha. Who says "have a ball" anymore anyway. Old men? Am I an old man?

Last night I finished watching the Band Of Brothers series on DVD. As far as Halloween goes, it wasn't scary. However, it did have a plethora of gory footage (and I don't mean An Inconvenient Truth). Joking aside, Band Of Brothers was excellent for a variety of reasons. It was filmed well, it was written wonderfully, and it made me look at WWII in some new ways. Despite the fact that this country (and others) can't seem to stay out of wars, it seems as if our world has learned some crucial lessons from the detestable crimes of the Nazis. That can't happen again.

"Excellent report Mr. Thiessen. Please hand me that paper football and return to your desk."

In memory of Mrs. Homrichouser('s class)

Matthew Thiessen

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Virginia's West Sieeede

Its late and I'm tired, but I figured I'd jot a quick note down. I've spent the last two days in West Virginia preparing for and kicking off our new tour. The first show was tonight, and it wasn't as bad as a lot of our tour debuts. It definitely wasn't a tight set, but I'll take a C+ on the first show of a tour any day of the week.

I spent most of the afternoon on Sunday driving down to Nashville. This prevented me from enjoying any of NFL action, and I'm still not sure how I feel about that. I went to Nashville to re-sing some vocals on "Deck The Halls" for some Shrek Christmas special. Replace "deck" with "Shrek", and you're starting to get the vibe of it. I hope they use the song... it'll be funny to hear myself singing on something animated (other than the seemingly short-lived Woodland Forest episodes). After tracking the vocals, I drove up to downtown Nashville and hung out with my buddy Kevan (he ended up moving to Nashville instead of Florida). Unfortunately, I could only spare a bit more than an hour before I had to leave to get on the steel horse (that's Bon Jovi for tour bus).

I won again in Fantasy Football, the Browns won, and Ohio State looks like a beautiful bird perched atop the poll. #1 (for now).

And in closing....

I shaved my scruff yesterday. Did I miss a spot?

The answer is yes.

The area above my upper lip and below my nose is warmer than the rest of my face. I have achieved chowderhead status in all self-respecting social circles. I look too scary to babysit, and I have all the contraband that Bullwinkle was hiding under his bed.

My friends....

I have a moustache
(or as Bullwinkle put it, a moose stash)

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Baby Got Back (80's edition)

I'm back.

More importantly...

I think Baby Got Back should've been the title of Dirty Dancing II (pauses to confirm via Google that there was, in fact, a Dirty Dancing II). It should've been the story of how Baby came back from summer vacation, put on a creepy mask, and used her new dancing abilities to rip her victims limb from limb. Her victims.........?


Release date: Halloween 1988

It is almost that time of year, isn't it? I'm excited. Its my favorite season. As a kid I was set on it. I would sit and swing on my swingset around sunset, and I'd pretend to see thousands of bats flying all around in the changing leaves. I LOVED Halloween. (I was a weird kid. I had two twin imaginary friends. For a LONG time. Maybe I'll blog about that someday.)

The cruise was great. I did cruise for a bruise, but minimal burnage.

This story is better if you have seen "Say Anything". (1989)

Not the band... The movie, silly.

My buddy Josh and our respective lady friends were hanging out in my cabin, and these people on another balcony started blasting music really loud. I grabbed my portable iPod boombox, put on Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes", and blasted them out of the water (well, that would've blasted me out of the water too.... I just played the song REALLY loud). The best was that I did it standing like this (photo taken during performance)

She's gone. She gave me a pen. I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.

Next item on 80's agenda. I've decided not to shave for a while, and go back to the mustache look. I should have a good start by the beginning of tour. I miss the stache. Its a really funny thing to walk through the world and have every stranger that you encounter think that you're a complete chowderhead.

I also miss the word chowderhead. I'm going to start a show called Chowderheads, and my buddies and I are going to film ourselves doing dumb stuff like giving ourselves paper-cuts and snorting wasabi. My name will be Matt. Other's will have names like Johnny Nashville and Ban Margarine!

I'll be rich. And there will be no more butter substitute.

Ok. Gotta get back to working on tour stuff. I'm waiting on Hoopes to tell me when he has to switch guitars during the show. Excitement! Rock and Roll!!!!

By the way, I won two games of Fantasy Football. One of them was against my good bud Joshy. It felt good to defeat him, but I felt sad that he had to lose... oh wait... nope... didn't feel bad at all.


Get it?

Friday, September 28, 2007

Tom Cruisin For A Bruisin

I'm going on a cruise. I'm writing a children's book about it. The Nearly Albino Canadian Goes On A Cruise.

I'll come back and let you all know how bad the burn is.

Your 50 SPF friend,

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Experiment III

Ok... I'm going to re-enable commenting on this thing. Just don't chat with each other in the comment zone. Please and thanks.


I didn't do anything wrong. Rather, we're not gonna be visiting this nation's finest airports for a while, so I won't have any more long flying stories or whiny blogs about delayed flights (hopefully I won't have to deal with that stuff for a while). Hence, I am grounded. Thank God.

Sorry about the last blogorino. I was trying to see if I could write something really long and boring and still have people read it. Some did. This whole blog thing is gonna be me testing any unfortunate readers like lab rats.

Oh dear.

This installment is short and weird. I'm gonna throw a poem on here. I envision it being read by Queen Latifah. She's royalty, you know.

A Poem. Haha. Gross.

Again, another attempt to throw you guys off my scent. This is a Pack Of Wild Blogs, you know.


By the way, I'm not a nature monger or a tree hugger (I actually don't have any relationships with any trees that have reached the level of conversation. Embracing is a ways off, I should think) That aside, the moon was pretty much full, and the proceeding may mention girly clouds and stuff. Haha. Gross.

To Whom It May Concern,

Tonight the clouds rushed passed your monthly love obsession
Her Majesty,
The Fullest Of Moons

Dark clouds
Light clouds

Tonight I hope
The Dark may once again be Light
Less Dense, Wispier

Cause you know you don't wanna miss a thing, Sugar

Your Majesty,
The Fullest Of Moons


I lost this week in fantasy football. 2-1

Sunday, September 16, 2007

You Do It To Yourself, You Do

In Radiohead's song "Just", they described my weekend just right.
This blog is best viewed while listening to said song

I woke up at 615am on Friday morning. My flight was at 630am.

I was flying to Boise from Canton, OH. Two cities that could potentially be dubbed as very large towns. The smaller the city, the tougher it is to travel to by air.
So, I drove to the Akron/Canton airport, and they said there was nothing they could do... I assumed we'd have to cancel our Boise show, so I hung my head, and sadly said,"I'll just go home and go to bed". I was asleep for about 10 minutes when my phone rang. It was our manager. I almost ignored the call, because I had a premonition that he was going to have some crazy, inconvenient itinerary in store for me. I was correct. But I'm definitely glad I answered the call. He asked me if I could get to the Cleveland airport by 1pm. I had enough time to make it if I left right away. The airport is about an hour and a half from me, and my return flight was into Canton. This provided the slight problem that I couldn't leave my car at the airport for the weekend (as I had previously planned). This meant I had to find my stepdad, and ask him to sacrifice 3 hours of his life to drive my car back from Cleveland. I couldn't find him anywhere, but I called my Mom and she said he was out in the woods cutting down trees. I should've guessed. Isn't that what most people do on a Friday morning? Breakfast followed by a hearty session of TGIFSICCDST (Thank goodness its Friday so I can cut down some trees). So, as we were driving there, our manager called again and asked if I could possibly make a flight that departed at 12:20pm. Even though it seemed like a stretch, I accelerated to over 100 miles an hour and sped, screeched, and threaded my way through semi-truck infested waters. My step-dad said nothing, but I'm %94.3 positive that I scared him %47.82 to death. (thats almost ½) I figured that if Johnny Law had it out for me, I'd accept it as Freddy Fate telling me that Boise was no longer on the menu. (it is Freddy, right?) When I was getting close to the airport (at this time I was actually on schedule to make the unmake-able 1220), my phone rang again. It was our manager. Was he calling to tell me that my plans hadn't changed and that I was doing a great job getting to the airport? Naw. Naw, he wasn't. He and some other folks out in LA had decided it would be safest for me to take a 430pm flight instead. Boo. I was almost glad. I screwed up, and now I felt like I was getting punished. How just. I walked into the airport five hours early for my flight (at least I didn't oversleep this one). I sat down at a small round table outside a make-shift coffee stand. I didn't know what airline I was on. I couldn't check in. I had two bags and a big guitar, and I looked like a cat just coughed me up. Well... I looked like a lion or a snow leopard coughed me up. You know... a big cat. One that eats dudes. I also didn't want any coffee. I felt like I had no purpose. But then my phone rang. It was our manager. He said "Delta.", and I was on my way. At least until I went to the Delta counter and they told me they couldn't check me in. They had my reservation, but the payment hadn't gone through. I had up to five hours for the payment to go through, so I sat down at small round table at a mirror image, make-shift coffee shop... not to be confused with the other one that was 100 yards away. 20 minutes later, I finally checked in (I won't bore you with the details... [that's a joke {eff why eye}]), and I went through SSSSecurity (some of you know what that means). I sat down at Max and Erma's in the B terminal and ordered a bit of lunch. I glanced at my phone, it was a bit after noon, and I thought it was the craziest thing. I NEVER eat lunch at noon. NOT EVER. I looked all around, and all the power-suits, ties, and briefcases were eating their noon day meals with the satisfied look of tray wielding 4th graders sitting down in the cafeteria after the 5th period bell rings. Lunch at noon. The norm. The routine. I said a little prayer, thanking God that I'm not playing for team 9 to 5, when I realized that we're all pretty much lemmings in our own right. For instance, I know that I would've been having the best day of my life if it was a Saturday or Sunday rather than a TBIF (too bad its Friday). Saturday and Sunday provide me with the football that I routinely watch (with the satisfaction of a cereal bowl wielding 4th grader sitting down to watch Saturday morning cartoons at 5am). Matt Hoopes thinks I'm silly cause I like football so much. I agree with him, but I don't mind being silly. Its always looked good on me.

Okay, okay... If you're still with me, I applaud you. I'm really just trying to write the most boring blog of all time. I entered a competition.

I camped out in Max and Erma's for an hour or so, and then watched Flight Of The Conchords at the gate until it was time to fly to my connecting airport, Salt Lake City. There were definitely more guys than girls on the plane, so the gender percentage was Morman than woman. Groan. Cough. Groan. Ha. Morman jokes write themselves. Either that, or I am AWESOME. My flight in SLC was delayed to the point that when I deplaned in Boise, I was already supposed to be on stage for fifteen minutes. I was late. But we didn't cancel. And it all payed off. I walked onto the stage 45 minutes late and had a really really fun (not entirely professional) show. We were playing a homecoming pep rally for the Boise State Broncos' football team. (They were the one's that, last year, won their bowl game with an awesome statue of liberty play afterwhich the running back made a beeline from the end zone to the feet of his cheerleader girlfriend and proposed). A couple thousand people showed up to watch us, and they stuck around even though we were late starting. The sound system was way to small, but the energy of everyone was so electric that I didn't care about the tech problems, and just had a good time. After the show Joshy, Dave, and I played three quick games of darts in the hotel lobby. I was dog tired, but darts are my drug (Remember?)

The next day was Colorado. Highlights include hanging out with Quietdrive and Josh Hoge, meeting some of John & Sarah Warne's buddies, and seeing a guy's foot gushing out more blood than I'd ever seen a foot gush.

Matthew Thiessen

Oh yeah, today's highlights include my advancement to 2-0 in fantasy football, and the Browns kicking some Bengals' tail. Not just their tail... their cute, little, dude-eating cat faces too. Kicked em hard. In the face.

Did I mention I like the Browns? ↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓↓

Sunday, September 9, 2007

As A Matter Of Fact, I AM Ready For Some Football

I'm happy about this. My first week of fantasy seems to be going well. Won't know till tomorrow, but I think I've got a W wrapped up. The Browns, on the other hand, suck. I woke up at the crack of noon (on not much sleep), and Dave, Joshy, and I went to some crappy sports bar in Georgia to watch as many football games as we could. Dave and I are big time Browns fans, and after the game, I looked at him and said "It's going to be a long year."
Its going to be a great year, though. Cause its footbal.

Matthew Thiessen

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I Just Wanna Shoot Lasers Out Of My Eyes

But today my girlfriend had lasers shot into her eyes. I got to watch!

My girl had some LASIK done today. They had a camera zoomed way up on her eyeball, and I got to watch them dismantle and repair her peepers.

I didn't bring my camera, but the procedure looks like this

At the establishment that she visited, they cut her eyes open with lasers, instead of a blade. I was a bit bummed I didn't get to see them saw her eye like they do most places. Did you see the see saw as I saw it?



This was brought to you by the conjugation of the verb "to see", lasers, googly eyes, and fun.

Matthew Thiessen

Saturday, August 25, 2007

I Just Wanna Fly

Except I DON'T! Ugh. I had a terrible week of fraternization with United, Northwest, and American Airlines. Matt Hoopes and I combined for a mind shattering 30+ hours of delayed flights since last Sunday (his overnight stint in Philly helps exaggerate the statistic quite a bit). We almost missed shows, we spent an unearthly amount of time sitting in gate areas, and we actually had to skip a leg of a flight and rent a car to reach a destination. I'm about to drive home from Nashville, and I couldn't be happier that the tires of my car are staying on the ground. Air travel has become such a hassle these days. Its kind of sad, but Matt has to fly to San Diego today for some vacation. I think the last thing he wants to do is to put his tray table up, and make sure his seat back is in the upright and locked position.

I had a really awful show last night. We were in OKC, and Johnny Raincloud decided to relieve himself all over my electronic gear. My gear, upset about getting wet, decided to the best way to exercise some revenge was to cease operations. Boo.
I need a hug.

Put your arms around me baby
Put your arms around me baby

Matty T.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


I'm pretty sure that kudos is Greek for glory. It was also a granola candy bar back in the day. My mom used to get those. Anyway, kudos to Brittany on myspace for finding my blog before I told anyone (besides Jon Schneck) about it. Brittany is one of 10 girls that write me multiple messages EVERYDAY on myspace. Wow.

So, we played a show in NY with Mat Kearney last week, and the next day we played a show with Daughtry at a county fair in Michigan. Daughtry had some "support" tour passes whipped up, and they had he and his band portraying the American heroes known best as GI Joe. I checked to see if John or Jon put up a pic of the pass, and I don't think they did.... so ....

Oh dear... its backwards. Hey kids!!!! Can YOU decipher the hidden message on the tour pass?!?!?! No!? Try holding the picture up to a mirror!

After we did the fair in Michigan (by the way, Dave and some friends snuck back into the fair after closing and unsuccessfully tried to hot-wire the ferris wheel), we had a random day off in my home town of Canton, OH. Since my car wasn't there (its still in Nashville from recording the Christmas stuff), I never even went home. I took my mom out to Applebee's. She called me up and said "Yo, Matty. Hows about we go get ourselves kicked outta Applebee's." And I said, "Aww Mom! Can't we just sit down and have a normal meal without you making some crazy scene!?" After the fire department showed up, the cops let us go, and I met up with some friends for some darts and high fives.

After the day at home, we played a festival in PA, and then went back to Nashville. I saw Superbad with my buddy James. It was pretty funny, but its kind of crazy how crass movies have become. I just wrote an entire paragraph of commentary on the matter, but decided not to post it. Ha. I hate that I have to edit myself all the time. Better safe than sorry though.

I think the Caveman show is going to be terrible

I'm excited for college and professional Football to begin... This is my first year doing fantasy football, and I've already got Willie Parker and LT. I hope that they make up for my lack of experience.

I ran too much yesterday and I threw up (I normally only do 3 to 4 miles).

I'm about to go run again and try not to throw up.

I'll probably post one or two more of these, and then tell people about it.

If you don't message me everyday on myspace, ignore the following postal script.

Stay outta the blog pound.

Matthew Thiessen

Since I know that you myspace ladies are the only ones reading this blog right now (save Schneck), I'll take this opportunity to say hello. Thank you all for being so nice and writing me all the time. Its really flattering. I'm sorry that I don't respond. I don't really like myspace, and I primarily use it to keep up with friends that I had BEFORE myspace. Also, I don't know why you guys write me so much, but as an older (and perhaps wiser) human being, allow me to bestow upon you a wee bit of advice. Cherish these days of being young and free. Instead of writing me and being on the internet so much, do something productive. When I was in high school, I had a job, and when I wasn't working, I was teaching myself how to play the guitar.

All this to say, I obviously don't care that you guys write me. If I have time, I browse through your messages (you have to understand that there's ten of you). I just don't want you guys to miss out on living your lives because you're on the computer all the time.
Love ya

Monday, August 13, 2007

Today Is My Christmas... Except Its Mattmas

I had a good day today. Probably the best birthday in a while. Last year was interesting, because I saw just one human being the whole day, and he didn't know it was my bday. I received no in-the-flesh birthday salutation, and even though I'm not really into celebrating such an individualistic "holiday", I feel like every birthday boy or girl should have to say "Thanks! I'm an old fart now!" or "You remembered!!! You crazy kook!".

Today, I was surrounded by two parents, three siblings, two sibling-in-laws, one brother of a sibling-in-law (you'd think that would count, but its technically not a relation), four nephews, a niece, and one amazing girl that's a friend (that's more than a friend). The siblings, some friends, and the girlfriend also hung out with me the night before, so I got a really heart warming dose of family in the last 24 hours. What a good gift. So much better than last year.

The two ladies that put my name on my DQ ice cream cake left a note in the box. I don't know how they knew the cake was for me, but apparently they dig the band, and they wanted me to stop by and say hello before 430p... didn't make it in time.

Because of the band, I often feel like I don't get to visit my family enough. Today, I was actually questioned, by my sister, if I knew which one of my nephews she was holding. I knew the answer, but the question said a lot about how often I'm around.

My girlfriend got me a compass for my birthday (I really wanted one). I know which way the North Pole is. Its this way ----> . But only if you're sitting on my couch.

Matthew Thiessen

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Fuitile Dronings

To drone is to speak tediously in a dull monotonous tone... so you have to imagine me saying this stuff aloud that way.

I haven't even told anyone I have a blog yet. That makes this kind of awkward. You see, I'm writing about my personal life, and no one is going to read it. That makes this more of an easily breakable brass lock sort of diary than a blog. The best part is that after people know I have a blog, a couple of people are going to read this, and they'll get creeped out.
Stop reading my private thoughts that I openly posted on the world wide, highly traveled, information superhighway!!!!!

So... we finished the Christmas record today for the most part... Ethan Luck is still yet to add some lap steel to a folky/country Christmas song I wrote. I'm excited that he's playing on the record. A bunch of the songs turned out better than I thought. I was thinking that our covers of Sleigh Ride and Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas may turn out dull. They turned out to be pretty interesting (especially for how basic Christmas carols can be).

I had a good time down in Nashville while recording. I was pretty busy in the studio, but I still managed to see a band a really like (Manchester Orchestra), hang out with some old Ohio buddies (Adam White of Eureka Gold, and my old roomie Kevan Peden), see some former Ohio buddies (the LaCroix's), and I played a TON of darts with our monitor guy, Joshy.

Manchester Orchestra was fantastic. It was probably over 100 degrees in there, and I've never sweat so much while standing in one spot. The band was about perfect and really entertaining, but I just wanted to go outside and cool off in the much more refreshing 97 degree weather.

Kevan Peden interests me. Kevan and I lived together forever, and he's one of my most cherished friends. He's a nomad though. Its cool with me, because I get to travel and see him quite a few times a year.... BUT, since Kevan and I have lived together, he's moved from Orlando to Naples back to Ohio... all the while, he's talking about moving to Eugene, Jacksonville, or Arkansas. He's yet to figure out where he wants to be, and that's totally cool. I wish him the best.
The reason I bring all this up, is because I like it when Kevan is in Ohio, cause I get to see him the most when he's there. He recently bummed me out when he told me he was moving back to Orlando (for the 2cnd time). The funny thing is, is that on his way down from Ohio, Kevan decided to stop in Nashville. Adam White, an old friend of his (and a more recent friend of mine), had moved from Ohio (to Boston and then) to Nashville with his band Eureka Gold (I got to see them while I was here... they're great). Well, when Kevan was just outside of Nashville, he thought that he might just stay in Nashville longer than for the one night that he had planned. And because he was here and I was here, we got to hang out. While doing so, Kevan hinted to the fact that he was thinking about staying in Nashville permanently instead of going back down to FL. This idea excited me, because I'm always in Nashville (band practice, recording, leaving for tour, etc...), and I'd probably see Kevan in TN more than when he lived in OH. I know it sounds girly, but having your good buds around is a big thing for me. I hope he decides to stay. I called up my buddies Steve and James LaCroix, and they met all of us at a Eureka Gold show. I got to see Adam play, and we all hung out afterwards. James hadn't seen Kevan for four or five years. The number staggered me, because Kevan, James, and I used to spend almost every weekend crashing on Matt Hoopes' basement couches and floor. Those were some good times, but so was hanging out with everyone again.

My dart game has improved. Josh is still destroying me "most" of the time, but the "most" was about "half" by the end of the week. We played so many games. I definitely have a bit of an addiction. I'm going to draw bullseyes on my arm, and inject darts. Its the gateway drug.

Oh by the way... since no one knows I have a blog, everything I just wrote was futile.

Futile Dronings.

Matty T

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Welcome To The Pack

You must be bored. You're reading my first post ever! Its really only going to be slightly longer than this, so enjoy. I started a blog. I'm gonna post on it. Hopefully we'll get it synced with the Relient K site soon. I heart you.
Matthew Thiessen