Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The S--th

Oh you.

And we're off.

The morning of October 29th was spent unprofessionally fastening siding to a Habitat For Humanity home in Baton Rouge, LA. It was fun. Maybe even more fun than the evening's musical performance (I was pretty wiped out by then).

Halloween night, I polished off the Silence Of The Lambs series. Hanibal Rising was the only one I hadn't seen, and it was pretty fantastic. It was cool watching them in order like that. Its almost like reading a book.
I dressed up like Tom Selleck dressed up as Matthew Thiessen from Relient K. Hoopes encouraged me to inform the next day's Columbia, SC crowd of said costume. After the show, Scarlett O'hara said to me, "I do declare, Mr. Thiessen, that went a bit over their heads!"
I love the s--th.
Scarlett was right though. The majesty of my costume was not nearly as embraced as it should have been by such a large, attentive group of people. The idea that Tom Selleck would even be savvy to the existence of our band is pretty funny. But if this past Halloween, the extent of his passion for our music led him to suit up in a homage drenched Matthew Thiessen costume!?...
Well, that'd be pretty funny as well.

For me to dress up as all of that, makes it a double costume. Its neat what you can do with a mustache and your own clothes.

Instead of Trick or Treating, John Warne bought three candy bars, said I could have one, and let me pick first. It was one Reese's new concoctions. You see, Reese just keeps his candy lovin' nose to the grindstone. He won't stop until he gets the perfect combination of carmel, milk chocolate, white chocolate, crunchy peanut butter, smooth peanut butter, wafers, nougat, roasted peanuts, etc. And even after he figures out the perfect blend, he has to decide on the shape. Will he choose cups, sticks, or pieces? We can only speculate. Once Reese nails it, we'll know. The whole world will know.
The one I had was pretty good. I just can't remember what kind it was. While we were indulging ourselves with the sugar at hand, John and I debated the last time we had a candy bar. The conclusion was more than a few months. When I was a kid, I told myself I would watch a million hours of cartoons and buy closets full of candy when I was an adult. I suppose I'm a failure.

Alright... Just because the Reese thing is such a rip off...

My mustache is dry clean only... Which means...

It's dirty.

Maybe I should have dressed up like a gangrene ridden comedian for Halloween. Rest in Reese's Pieces, Mitch.

Fantasy football was a nightmarish type of fantasy. The kind where the unicorn turns around and Whinny The Pooh is dangling bloody and lifeless from his horn. Broken shards of honey pot sticking out of his eyes.

Apparently I need to refrain from using the term "shoe in". Cause I shoe didn't win.

I've haven't been feeling well the last four days or so.
Boo freakin hoo.
Me, that's hoo.

Matty T.



Mary Liz said...

You know what I think, I think you got more candy than I did this year. Which is odd... Anyways, you're not a failure. You're just behind on your childhood plans is all. I can't think of anything funny to say to everything you said so all I'm going to say now is that I have the first comment and that makes my day better.

raven said...

aww, i hope you feel better matty :)

im glad yr halloween was
enjoyable though, candy bars


raven said...

oh and i forgot to add,
that you dont deserve a BOOO !

you deserve a WHOO HOOOO :D

Nina said...

AHH! *jumps* <--- in reference to your boo.. :D

I'm sorry that you haven't been feeling well lately :/ That's very unfortunate and it makes me sad that you aren't feelin up to par :/

I like you costume by the way, haha, it makes me giggle and smile, like this ----> *giggle... smiles*

Sorry about fantasy football as well :/ Do you want me to shake my fist at it? Cause I happily will if you want me too.. :]

Anywho, I hope that you feel A LOT better soon :]

ps.. reeces are amazing... i'm partial to the pieces myself :]

Christi said...
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Christi said...

Geez Matt, don't scare me like that. (boooo!)

You are so funny. I think I say that almost every time you post but I literally LOLed for this one :)

I got you some candy bars on Saturday!!!! (some kudos, actually) And some sour patch kids, and some warheads because I think it's wrong for someone to go without sugar for a long time(I really hope that guy gave them to you)haha

Anyway, I hope you get to feeling better. I don't like to hear when people are feeling bad, because then it makes me feel bad...so get better quick!!


Anonymous said...

Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar and a guy name Reese comes by and says "let me have that", you better hand it over. "I'm sorry, Reese. I didn't think I'd ever run into you."

Rest in Reese's Pieces indeed ;)

sarah elizabeth said...

i saw you had one of these things too. feel better dude....i think you are here next friday already?

JENNA! said...

that's stinky that you haven't been feeling well. Maybe it was that candy bar. Would you shampoo your moustache? heehee. :D
Happy Belated Halloween!

chelle said...

i hope you feel better
pretty much everyone in springboro has allergies/a cold i think it is just going around

but i hope you feel better really soon =]
for your show on the 14th in cinci!!!
well i will see you then and get well soon

liz said...

Feel better soon!

And don't shave your mustache before next Friday. Ha. Because that is when I shall be attending a concert of yours.

Brittany said...
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Brittany said...
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Lindsey said...
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Kelly said...

"I'm in the S--th and I want some s--p!!"

I love Mitch Hedberg

My favorite joke of his is the one about foosball

See you in a few..

Anonymous said...

Maybe it was your over-indulgance on one candy bar over halloween that made you ill.
Especially, if your last one was months before that.

Mandarina said...

I heart Mitch Hedberg. Nice tribute. ;)

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm #18, that's awesome.

It sounds like you ate some Reece's before writing this little blog. Okay, are you forgetting E.T.? They have to come up with something that can beat the original pieces and the movie magic of lovable aliens. I think it's impossible. But Reecey must be stubborn. And that's how dreams happen...

For one I'm just super happy you didn't write anything about the Browns vs. Seahawks game on Sunday. If you had, I would've had to give you a nice sock in the arm if/when I ever meet you. Then it would be a nice-to-meet-you-sock-you-in-the-arm, type greeting and I don't know if you're into that, so thanks for being sensitive to the subject. :)

Oh, my friend Joe wanted me to show you his mustache, (which I just tried to post) But it didn't post here so I'll send it to via your myspace, or the Sarah Locey void message page. :)

Get well soon, aka: Stay away from Reeces. :)

meggggg said...

i understood the costume joke.
that's all that matters.

lexidoodleellis said...

maybe some day they'll come up with that perfect blend...

yeah.. schneck is pretty much killin you at fantasy football eh?

i wanted you to dress up as edgar allen poe :[ you could have made u p a murder mystery or something!

but tom sellek dressed up as matt t was an okay idea too

we won our costume contest again this year..

i only think its cause when an 18 year old guy dresses up alongside his 6 yr old sis in a tulip costume, success is inevitable


PaperCutHeart.( Bo-K ) said...

Sorry Your not feeling well =[

And that you didn't get to go trick-or-treating..I didn't get to go either..

Haha..Well once again you made me laugh..Congratulations..

Well lets hope Christmas will be better =]
You should come to Florida =D

- Boquet.

Matt said...

yeah, i'm lucky enough to have the 31st as my birthday :)

kaeli said...

Reese's is spelled like Reese's. Not Reece's. Nice blog though. Oh, and nice tribute to Mitch. Very funny.

kaeli said...

Reese's is spelled like Reese's. Not Reece's. Nice blog though. Oh, and nice tribute to Mitch. Very funny.

Matthew Thiessen's Pack Of Wild Blogs said...

Thanks for the spelling advice. I'm deeply shamed. :-)

Mercy said...

by the time I got here, it was spelled alright. although you did say tick or treating.. I'm not sure if that was on purpose. If it was, I have no idea what that means. :p

Brittany said...
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Anonymous said...

So Reece's is Reese's now?

Whatever you say...I'll just copy you.

Christi said...

hahaha I noticed you spelled it wrong...
I thought it was funny
But, I guess it's not anymore since you fixed it lol

raven said...

i think i found another silly mistake
mr thiessen,

(or maybe it was on purpose.)

you out TICK or treating

isnt it trick or treating?


you decide..


raven said...

ah i made i typo now

silly me

i meant you wrote**


Anonymous said...

aw, mitch. :)

definitely enjoying these blogs of yours! yeah, you don't know me. but my husband and i are huge fans. we've seen you at quite a few cornerstones, and we're looking forward to you coming to cincinnati!! we'll be there, for sure. :)

thanks for making me laugh! hope you get to feeling better!

Melanie said...

I'm really sorry you haven't been feeling well. I hope things are getting better.

So... Tom Selleck dressed as Matt Thiessen? Must be what the mustache is for after all. ;)

But methinks you've seen a few too many horror movies lately. LOL

KelseyBee said...

Come on why did you have to kill Pooh like that=/

Karissa said...

The s--th loves you too!

My husband and I went to the show in Winston-Salem... we were in the front row, and I was the one with the camera in my face. (I'm about to go through the pics and send the best ones to Jon Schneck.) Even with your cold, that was a great show! But I hope you feel better soon.

Regan said...

this was a good blog...the best part was about the unicorn turning around the whinny the pooh hanging bloody from it's horn and--of course i don't have to repeat it because you all read it. theissen you're a funny guy. odd, but funny.

Mercy said...

I like how you italicized the "r". haha. Don't you just hate when people get onto you about your grammar..

Nina said...

Haha, aw, you fixed "Tick" or Treating too... I liked it, lol, but I love how you italicized the r, it made me giggle... :D

And you fixed the Reeses too! I could never spell that word right... I always use c instead of s... but now I know it's spelled with a s, so I can spell it right :D! hehe

Isaac Marion said...

Don't forget Reese's Peanut Butter Puffs. Kellogs tried to rip them off with their "Chocolate Peanut Butter Pops", which were supposed to be peanut butter flavored Corn Pops, but were in fact not remotely the same cereal, more like Captain Crunch, or chocolate peanut butter pumice bits. (My expose of this cereal is getting published on McSweeneys.net!)

Life sux, but you learn to deal with it. said...

You're so punny!
"Shoe in" means it's a sure thing, "I'm a shoe in to win first place at the Starwars convention for my costume" and whatnot.

If it makes you feel any better I didn't know what "Basking" meant until I heard it on your "Anatomy of the Tongue in Cheek" CD, I felt a bit....well, slow.

And Reeses are not so great, I don't see what the big deal is, it's chocolate and peanut butter...buy a Hershey's bar, dip it in peanut butter and call it a Reese's.

Take that Reese!
Whoever you are.

And Why not a Pirate with Scurvy (instead if a gangrene comedian) because that probably would've been pretty hysterical and waaay more hideous.

Hi! I'm Samantha, and I googled the words "Something Awesome" and your blog came up, so what's up?

PiNKiPodGymnast said...

I think Reece's looks wayyy hotter!!!

omg........ from brittany's comment about you hardly ever making a spelling error....
Matt, are you a good speller??!??!??

'Cause if you are, that makes me love you more!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've always loved spelling and I tend to correct a lot of people. So it gets on my nerves when people spell wrong.
But if you like spelling / are good at spelling, then I don't know how I shall ever get over loving you.

KT said...

We don't get reese's in Australia.

ChristinaTheAnomalous said...

yay. happy belated-comment day. dressing up as yourself is a little narcissistic, don't you think? =) anyway, merry christmas i guess. i wonder why nobody spells it 'mary christmas'....i mean, she was a big part of the story.....maybe that'll be MY greeting. haha